Joke time

1. A cafe patron ordered a pastry, then changed his mind and replaced it with a cup of coffee. When he finished his coffee, he started leaving without paying. The waiter approached him:
—You didn't pay for coffee!
—But I had it instead of the pastry.
—You didn't pay for the pastry either!
—But I didn't have the pastry.


2. I bought a book online "How to implement an Internet scam." Somehow, though, it's been a while, and I still haven’t received it.